there are only 2 types of guys in this world: the type who'll be nice to you, and the type whom you'll be nice to.
and you must be careful, because it can be hard to differentiate the two types. i'm not talking about guys who'll be nice to you in a superficial way, like letting you choose all the time, being patient while you shop, offering to hold your things for you, etc etc. anyone can do that. but when it comes down to the crunch, when its between your interests and his, whose interests will he choose?
the nice guys will of course pick yours and sacrifice their own. the other type will naturally pick theirs and sacrifice yours, and possibly give you some bullshit excuse justifying their behaviour (ie its for both our good).
and women, being the unfathomable and irrational creatures that we are, never fail to choose the second type, the one that'll bring us maximum pain and tears. i've thought about it, and thought about it, and thought about it somemore, and i've come up with 3 reasons why we pick the path most rocky when it comes to matters of the heart.
(1) Maybe we just like hurting ourselves.
(2) Maybe we enjoy chasing the uncatchable.
(3) Maybe we have a hero complex that convinces us that we need to rescue these types of people from themselves. little do we know that in the end, we'll be the ones that need rescuing from them.
I do believe that its always a mix of all three. there's an allure of being the one to 'tame' the one who cannot be tamed, there's a mix of being bored by predictable niceness and the lack of an emotional rollercoaster ride, and of course, there's the bad boy that never fails to steal your heart.
how do you differentiate the nice guys from the ones you'll be nice to?
when its too late of course. when you've gotten burnt, when you finally bring yourself to look beneath the bullshit excuses, when you finally remove the rose-tinted glasses, stop kidding yourself that he'll change, and see what you chose for what it really is. in other words, when reality doesn't allow you to look away and hope for change anymore.
its really really really hard to tell which type of guys the guys you meet are. but trust me, they can all be divided neatly into either 2 categories. there are no in-betweens. you can try to observe their interactions with other people, their relationships with their parents, their dads - i noticed sons tend to mimic their dad's behavioural traits. if the dad is unbelievably selfish, what are the chances his son will have the heart of Mother Teresa? no matter how unlikely it seems, most men really are just a chip off the old block.
most imptly, do not be too quick to judge. he may seem like a real bad boy, but you may be surprised when things come to shove. similarly, he may seem like the model son and all, but you might be in for a terrible shock when you realize that your interests just don't occur to him at all.
but we must must must be careful when classifying, because we will pay the price of a wrong classification. needless to say, that price is endless tears, heartache, disappointment, and a very difficult decision to make in the end.
in the end, its the ones who are nice to us, and ourselves, who get it rough. we realize that there is a reason why some people are called 'untamable', there's a reason why we were attracted in the first place, there's definitely fire beneath all that smoke, and its the fire that burns people who get too close.
if you've picked a good one, hold on to him tight - they're rarer than good diamonds. but what do you do then, if you've picked a difficult one?
no one knows. you continue trying. you give up. you resign yourself to a love that hurts. or you resign yourself to a love that's just fine, not fantastic, and give up those childhood dreams of a prince charming.
one thing's for sure - just as a leopard never changes its spots, don't ever, ever expect your chosen one to change. that road leads to nowhere.
just open your eyes wider, think harder, and pick a better one next time :p
good luck! =D
a star fell from the sky;
5:55 PM